Ralph's Song

(Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies")

Come and listen to my story 'bout a boy named Ralph.
He grew up white, only cared about hisself.
Played hockey on the pond while he learned to hedge his bets
"The harder I work the luckier I'll get"
Even, that is. Hat Tricks. My way.

Well, the first thing you know little Ralphie goes to school.
Learning what it takes to rework the golden rule
He spends all his time hangin' out with hockey types
Learning what it takes to become a Sioux who fights
Against human rights, that is. Warpaint. Dollar signs

The next thing you know old Ralph's a millionaire
Throwing Hitler parties as if he doesn't care.
UND folk said it's just poor taste
For a hundred million dollars we won't investigate
Taste, that is. It's subjective. Who decides?

But before too long, money's just not enough
"A memorial" he said, to honor the right stuff
And to those who don't agree
So what! I'll build the biggest and the best and name it after me
Sioux, that is. That's me. I'm one

North Dakota and the U. are just the friends I need
And for good measure I'll buy the SBHE
They'll do what I say, corporate to the core
And if they need convincing, well, there's always more
Money, that is. Rigged. No moral authority.

Y'all come now, hear?
Go Sioux